Ebony writing it the sand on the beach

Design the Life You Love

Ok, so post Valentine’s Day some of you may be on cloud nine and others may be down in the dumps.  Despite the details of your Valentine’s Day know that only one thing matters the most…Self Love (noun): Regard for one’s own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic).  

“Be thankful for the self-love that continues to bring happiness into your world…embrace and love the things that make you different…this is truly what makes you special.”  These are the words that I chose to post yesterday as a representation of Valentine’s Day or as I refer to it, “Love Day.”

Love yourself enough to build a life that you love instead of waiting for others and life events to determine it for you.  This kind of self-love will be the most rewarding thing you can ever do for YOU.  However, choosing yourself may require some big changes in your life: things like pursuing a new career, establishing a new network of personal/professional friends, or even doing away with old habits and activities and replacing them with new ones.  

Self-love is a daily practice that typically takes a lifetime to master.  And if you are fully dedicated you will begin to see the alignment that will occur as it relates to how you live your life, and your lifestyle will truly reflect your level of self-love.  Here are some easy steps for you to embrace as you continue to optimize your level of self-love so you can, “Design the life you love.”

Quality Time with YOU

Quality personal time means spending connected, quality time with yourself instead of always hanging with friends, watching TV, or wasting time on the internet.  This alone time will allow you the space you need to really get to know yourself, focusing in on the your emotional, mental, and physical energy and whether these activities are connected to your desires and what you really want to do in your life.  The alone time spent will heighten your level of self-awareness and will bring into focus those things that you really love. This quiet alone time will also allow you to dream big without any interference or judgements from others including our own perceived limitations and the things we believe we do not deserve.

List your Best Qualities

During your alone time, ensure that you are making a list of all your best qualities and highlight all the things that bring you the most joy and have you feeling like you are on top of the world.  In addition to the list, make sure that you also describe you accomplishments that relate to your qualities.  Not only will your list serve as a wonderful reminder of all the amazing things that have come about in your life, but it will also help you to hone in on the amazing qualities that exist inside of you that will connect you to the things and people that are needed to create the life you love.  No matter how unbelievably amazing your list may be, write everything down!   

Renew Your Space

Now that you have a complete description of what happiness looks like to you, you are now prepared to rid your life of anything that does not belong in the picture.  You are now able to remove ANYTHING from your life that disrupts your happiness.  Eliminate the things that makes you feel less than the amazing person that you are. These things do not deserve any more time in your life.  Welcome in all things that support and grow that picture of living your happy life.  Make sure you invite healthy things that continue your growth and development, as well as enhance your uniqueness. Fill your space with things and people who love and encourage you.  Let them remind you just how amazing you are. This is what makes you special.  And remember, no comparisons.  There is no one on this planet like you, so don’t compare yourself to anyone else.  The only person you should compare yourself to is YOU!

“Bye” Old, “Hello” New

During the process of cleaning your house, you may sense some uncomfortable feelings.  You may feel bad for having to let go of bad habits and even some people.  It’s critical that you stay focused on your vision of the life you love so that you do not revert back to your old ways.  As you move forward in life, it is also important to understand that when each chapter ends it brings about new beginnings.  New beginnings come filled with a new set of hopes and dreams complete with its own set of excitement and fear.  As you envision these hopes and dreams and continue to move ahead you will soon forget the things that you have removed and will become more and more conscious and focused on all the new.  

Make it Happen

Ok, so now the best part… making it all happen!  It’s time for your life’s change!  Put your vision of happiness to work.  Your description should be in-line with your true qualities and passions.  These are the things that get you so excited, but scare you at the same time.  These are also defined as the things you really want to do but have convinced yourself that you can’t do. Yes, those things… you should go do that!  Enjoy them, enjoy being you, and enjoy your incredible life.  Think about the wonderful things that are happening at this very moment, right now! 

And remember throughout every step be mindful of what you think, feel and want.  Live your life in ways that truly reflect this sense of self-awareness. Celebrate your life and pat yourself on the back and be proud that you are “Designing the life you love.”

Ebony in a handstand at the beach

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